Claude François, Gilbert Bécaud, Henri Salvador, and Catherine Deneuve in the role of The Lady.

One of the first things to do in Paris is to take a petit déjeuner on the avenue des Champs Elysées.

If you want a black coffee, you don't need to order "un café noir" or "un expresso s'il vous plaît" : everybody will guess that you're from Mars or from America. Just ask for "un café" and the waiter will serve you the basic petit noir : a small cup of black coffee with 2 wrapped-paper white sugar pieces. Don't forget the croissants, they are usually butter croissants -mind your diet.

If you only stand coffee with milk, ask for "un café crème" (you'll get a quarter of milk but not cream), or "une noisette", which is a small black coffee cup tinted by a few drops of milk, giving it the color of nuts.

Capuccino is reserved to foreigners or rich French people because cream is expensive, you'll pay the double, up to ten euros. But you might get a tiny biscuit with it, and eventually 2 grammes of chantilly (1,50 euro / pint in the supermarket)

Once you are used to Parisian life, go to any crappy café place and ask for "un café et des croissants" and you'll get just the same for cheaper, no baker is cooking his croissants anymore, these are delivered early in the morning. You can even have them at half price if you get up late and they want to get rid of them before lunchtime.

The nicest way to enjoy your breakfast is to sit on a terrasse and look at the pedestrians passing by, and you'll notice that the pretty girls are not only walking down the T'chumps Elisees, they are just EVERYWHERE in the city. And, hey, look at the girl on the sunnyside of the street, doesn't she look like Catherine Deneuve (young)?